Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

How is the weather in North Pole? My mom tells me it will be very cold there. Snow all around. I like snow, but I hate cold weather. Makes my nose run, you see. I like reindeer too.

I have been a good kid all year. Not just for the X'mas present. I am generally a good kid. Ask my mom, she thinks I am the best in the world.

There have been times when I have felt like bashing up some people, but I did not. Like this one time, a fat guy (fatter than me, maybe not as much as you) stood on my feet on a local train and nearly crushed my toes. I politely asked him to not behave like Waqar Younis. He threatened to throw me off the train. But, I did not hit him. Did not even use a cuss word. Of course, the fact that he was fat and huge and strong did not frighten me.

Then, this other time, one strange guy called me and started abusing me. I was very polite with him too. Of course, I did call him chu**** in the end, but you see, his friend calls him that, and so he does not mind. And, Santa, this is Mumbai. Even brothers call each other chu****. So, kindly overlook that.

Of course, I did make fun of some friends in my college at the farewell party. But, it was a harmless leg pulling session, and even though some of them may have felt bad about it, I am not sorry about it. I would do it again, given a chance, even if it makes you cross my name out from your list of 'people who deserve gifts'.

I did dance at the same event. I apologize to all those who were tortured to see that sight. Thankfully, the camera guy was intelligent enough to cut me out from the recording. Saved me from embarrasment for posterity.

I also made silly rhymes about some people. But, even you would agree, they deserved it. In fact, they deserved only that and nothing else. One guy called my favorite cricketer a buffalo, another wants to kidnap my favorite politician, and the third tortures me by singing. Even if I apologize to my college friends, I wouldn't apologize to these... should I call them people?

Ok, I did not buy my mom or dad a gift for their birthdays. It is ok, I thought since they have been even more well behaved than me all year, you would give them a nice gift at the end of the year. Next year, I will try to get them something.

I am not asking for a Ferrari. It would be nice, but I can't drive. I am not asking for a bungalow at Malabar Hill. May be next year...
I am not asking for all those freaky gadgets like iPods, digicams, Nokias and what not. Can't understand why people go crazy about things like that.
I am not asking for a date with Asin. It would be fantastic, but my mom tells me that many screen icons look disappointing in real life. So, let me live with an image.
I am not even asking for a kiss under a mistletoe from my dream girl. That (and more) happens all the time in my dreams, and I don't even have to stand under the mistletoe.

All I am asking for is a nice weekend of rest. Good sleep, no work, no deadlines, no excel sheets, no powerpoint or word docs...

Is that too unreasonable a gift? Especially since I have been so good all year long.

Yours
Good kid.

P.S.: If you can't give this gift, please put 'kiss from dream girl in real life' as the dream shot.