Feb 12, 2012

Continuing the not-so-glorious tradition of the V-day whine...

In keeping with the tradition at this blog started in 2008, and continued through 2009, 2010 and 2011, we contrive to come up with one more lamericky whine.

Some people say if we had spent so much effort in actually finding a girl, we wouldn't have to continue this crib every year. Don't listen to those people. I most certainly don't.

Besides, writing a blog is free. Which brings us to the theme of this year's whine...

In 2 days, some people will come down sick
They'll turn mushy, one of many an awful tic
They buy roses and cry "Happy Valentine"
I feel such fools should be put in quarantine
And treated by hitting their head with a brick!

Because, of all the stupid things a man could do
(note, am even including amateur singing in the loo)
the thing that I think of putting up on the list first
yes, it's that bad, in fact, the absolute very worst
is him finding someone to give his pathetic heart to!

And since his heart is cheap and totally worthless,
he adds a costly diamond ironically tagged priceless,
his love may end but that carbon rock is 'Forever!'
Poor miners dying for it elicit only a "whatever!"
Frankly, I find this whole situation a bit mindless

Trust me, I have nothing against the lovely women
Except when they address me with a "what men!"
It's just that they have these random mood swings
and expect you to buy them nice and costly things
and then shout "this isn't a gift, it's just a stupid pen!"

Now I know some of you chicas aren't all that bright
But with a rose or a chocolate, can you ever write?
A pen at least allows you to sign your own checks
instead of being someone who constantly henpecks
but you just throw it in the guy's face and start a fight!

So, ladies, I have here a brand new pen to 'gift'
and if you are a like-minded miser and value thrift
and, possess the all-important 'independent mind',
please let me know how I may search for you and find
some cheap way of giving my absent love life a face-lift!

PS1: If my mom has her way with her checklist of things to do in life to attain moksha, at the top of which is "Find a bride for son", then this might, just might, be the last V-day whine on this blog. So, enjoy it while it lasts. Don't hold your breath though.

PS2: Why have we written this 2 days in advance? Because, we have a job which takes up too much time during the weekday. No, that sounds boring. So, let's go with "Because, 'we are hip like that!"

PS3: If any of you gals can buy this for me, I am yours for life ;)