Me: Happy Birthday Kiruku! It feels like you were born yesterday, and you are already three years old!!!
Kiruku: That’s it? Just 'Happy Birthday'? No party, no cake, no gifts?
Me: Er... Cakes and parties and gifts are for real people in the real world. You are just a virtual creation. Technically, you don’t even exist!
K: What do you mean I am not real? If anything, I am more real than you.
Me: And how is that?
K: You see, you exist in a world where people never let down their guard. So, you watch your words, seldom show your true nature, shy away from toilet humour, are politically correct and diplomatic... essentially, you hide yourself behind this image of what you think people like to see. And you interact with other people who have their own masks. And all of you go around pretending that everything is hunky-dory.
Me: Whoa! Wait a minute...
K: I, on the other hand, am blunt, in your face, crack stupid jokes, compose crappy rhymes, express strong opinions without fear of what others think, and you know... be the definition of WSYIWYG.
Me: Man, for a three year old, you do think very highly of yourself! Sorry to shatter your ‘I am the reality’ illusion, but you see, I live in a world where I can’t hide who I am. If I am short, pot-bellied, bald and ugly, I can’t pretend to be Brad Pitt. Or Hugh Jackman. Or whoever is the latest sexiest man alive. If I am terribly shy in front of people, especially girls, I have to deal with it. I can’t suddenly shave off my moustache, wear tight tees and do dance pe chance maaro with girls half my age.
Me: You, on the other hand, don’t have a face. Or a belly. You are a screen, and people can imagine what they want about you. You can project yourself to be this smart, suave guy and no one will ever know the truth. In fact, they won’t even care. Just because some people say you are funny (and that too because they are polite) doesn’t mean you are this stud with a fan following. Wake up and smell the coffee. Molachu moonu elai vidale, paecha paaru!
K: Dude, watch your tongue. My mental age is higher than yours.
Me: Heh, keep dreaming.
K: I even had an image makeover recently. And I have a much better social life. I have a princess visiting me, people from US and
Me: Whoa, I do go out for dinner with friends. And even movies occasionally.
K: Just because some people are kind enough to tolerate your nonsense and accommodate you once in a while! And keep copying my PJs and soon, even they’ll run out of patience.
Me: Ok ok, what will you take to shut up?
Me: Thank you!
K: I meant I won’t shut up. I will keep talking. I talk, therefore I am. The day I run out of things to say, I’ll die.
Me: Here’s wishing you a long life. Even if you continue to say stupid things. Cheers!
PS: Yes, as you guessed it, the blog turns three. And it has been a wonderful journey. Don't tell him (it?) though.