I am the great Daruwala, bow before me!!!

Inspired from this (I know, most of you would have read it by now)

Sachin's worried he jus can't hit a ton
I say, "don't worry, gently ask Anjali for a son"
if she says "u stink", go have a proper bath,
or take her for a drive in ur Ferrari, haathon mein haath...
if all else fails, chuck it and eat cheese burger with mutton!

I confess, "ok, I'll be truthful...
i had some neat scotch, 2 glasses full"
some people think I shud be put behind bars,
for saying Sachin has a problem with his Mars,
"c'mon, didn't u get the sarcasm even after i said Double Bull?"

"ppl, tell me your problems, the pleasure's mine"
42 is not the answer, it's 'coz of the number Nine!!!
that bloke Sachin is such a nice fellow,
I could get away with calling him Buffalo!!!
keep wondering why people call me asinine?

oh arrogant, self made people, it's all in your stars
your life can be screwed by Jupiter, Venus and Mars,
I advise you to wear a bracelet of copper,
don't you threaten to run me under a super sopper,
Eat mutton cheese burgers, 'coz chickens cause SARS

"While batting on a bouncy track,
Sachin should not play from the back"
writes the five-feet-nothing Sunny...
now that is what I'd call super funny,
should ask Ganesha, oops Sayesha, to give SMG a virtual thwack!

I come out with predictions every week,
religiously, the elephant God's blessings I seek...
I predict, "you'll get lucky and rich",
with luck, even your dog will find a new bitch,
Strange, sometimes I hear people whisper 'Crazy Old Freak'

When all goes wrong, blame your luck
accepted, sometimes my predictions do suck
"even the mighty Daruwalla can lose his wicket"
Sob, people want to send me to space on a one-way ticket,
why grudge an old man a chance to make a quick buck?

if you are tired and sick
of reading one more limerick
send me your name, age, CTC and birth charts,
I'll use a predictive technique called 'throwing darts'
and tell you, your chances of scoring with a hot chick.

PS: The Sunil Gavaskar article is from ToI, I wanted to give a link, but for this...