Long-time readers of this blog, assuming such rare specimens are still around, would know that there is a rich and glorious tradition here. Of cribbing on every Valentine’s Day. There are very few things that you can depend on in this unpredictable country of ours. Virat will score runs, Tamil Nadu politicians will make a bunch of monkeys look sane, some jobless bloke will blame Valentine’s Day for corrupting the country’s moral fabric and SRK will crib on V-day.
Well, shed some tears, for one of those fabled traditions comes to an end this year.
A miracle has happened.
A girl, and I can reliably confirm she is not a minor and not of unsound mind, said Yes. To me.
And now that your jaws have lifted from the floor, read that line again: A. Girl. Said. Yes. To. Me!
It helped that she’s too short sighted to (i) see how gorgeous she is when she looks in the mirror, and (i) to see how not-at-all-gorgeous I am when she looks at me. Thank God for myopia. (Btw, did you hear the joke about what old people who are short sighted are called? See-near citizens).
And on that not-so-funny note, we come to this year’s rhyme. Not cribbing for once.
Even a cat has only nine lives and not ten
So what can be said of mere mice and men
As the old saying goes, their best laid plans
Change when she casts that sideway glance
One look at her, and I was like, Oh Yes! Amen!
One fine day, I got a call from a long lost friend
Little did I know, that my single days would end
And just when I had thought it impossible to find
A really nice girl with a truly independent mind
He wrote a nice introductory mail and hit “Send!”
Thereafter, things got off to a not-so-great start
Even though she was pretty, nice and super smart
She asked me about my height and my birth-star
And I thought, erm, things won’t end up going far
But, before I knew it, she had stolen my heart!
We met once, then twice and finally thrice
Btw, did I tell you that she’s extremely nice?
By the second meeting, I was totally smitten
I used to laugh at love bugs, but now I was bitten
“Every dog has its day”, so say the worldly wise…
In fact, I had a very simple check-list
You could count them off in one fist
She should have stayed away from home
She should love to travel and roam
And live life to the fullest, not just exist!
She should be broad-minded, open to new stuff
She should have grown up knowing life’s tough
She should most definitely not be a spoilt brat
Like you know, some rich, well-pampered Persian cat
Any girl who ticked all of this was more than enough
She had much tougher criteria for me to meet
She is a good dancer, but I have two left feet
She wanted me to learn to cook, swim and drive
I promised her, that I will really, really strive
To be a better man, and she found that really sweet!
I never asked what finally got me the passing marks
All that mattered was, we met, and there were sparks
But after we both said yes, there was still a small catch
Horoscopes were to be seen, and stars had to match
And for one day, I thought all astrologers were sharks!
But, at the end of the day, everything was crystal clear
Although for one day, I did spend wandering in fear
But now, come rain or shine, no matter what the season
I walk around happily, smiling by myself for no reason
Because, I’m in love, and the wedding date draws near!
PS: And folks, that concludes the tradition. No more V-day rhymes. No more cribs.
PS2: It would interest you folks to know that my dazzling poetry skills impressed her! Yay for nine years of practising really bad rhyme.