Feb 13, 2023

Holy cow!

This is the year the V-day whine turns Sweet Sixteen! Every year, I keep thinking that I need to put a stop to this. After all, it started as a joke, a way to crib about my absent love-life in a funny way. It went on for a while, as a way to keep laughing about my plight while I was being pressured by friends and family to find a girl.

But now, I have already found love, or rather my love found me. So, there was no point in continuing this stupid thing. Except it has become tradition. And we don't take tradition lightly in this country.

At least, some of us don't. Like the Animal Welfare Board of India. We respect our traditions. We don't want western culture corrupting our minds. So, inspired by their circular, I dedicate this year's V-day post to AWBI! 

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This year, as I was secretly wondering how

To celebrate the so called 'festival of love'

Not for me the same old chocolates and roses

Nor the stupid red balloons and clich├ęd poses

The AWBI has kindly suggested to hug a cow!


Apparently, hugging cows can fulfil your every wish

Since they are friendly with Gods like Ram and Krish

So, I decided to go out, searching for a cuddly bovine

But there was a huge crowd and I had to get in line

Worry not, I told myself, iss baar karenge poori koshish!


But I wasn't sure whether to only hug or should I also kiss

After all, it is a four legged animal, and not a pretty miss

And how do we even know if the cow likes to be hugged

ChatGPT says no, they aren't sociable, and get bugged

But certain folks around me were ready to drink its piss!


The cow asked me "so, you think you are a stud?"

You don't look very smart, but more like a dud

All you buggers are only friends in fair weather 

Once I grow old, you will skin me for some leather

So, why don't you let me peacefully chew my cud... 


So, I came back home to hug my lovely wife

And let the cow get on with its happy life

The wife really appreciates my ready wit 

Even if she secretly thinks it's all bullshit... 

And that's the secret to a marriage without strife! 

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PS: Apparently, the AWBI has withdrawn the its circular. But I refuse to withdraw my post!