Jun 4, 2009

Memoirs of a teacher

For four long years, I taught a class, consisting of extremely unruly students at times. I learnt early in my career that the effective way to ensure discipline in the class is to keep a check on some of the key mischief mongers. Very rarely have I come across a class where ALL the students create problems. However, if you let the naughtiest ones have their way, the rest of the class realizes that you can be taken advantage of and decides to join in the fun slowly.

I remember the class of 2005 particularly well.

If you wanted to find someone, you asked F (names shortened to initials, to protect privacy) . He knew everyone, and with his friend G, would readily go to wherever you ask him to.

J could justify all his mischievous actions with some or the other excuse. L and R were usually at two different corners of the class, while E liked to sit in the middle row. M and T would usually shift around.

K was the friendliest, linking everyone with everyone else. His best friend was O, a very open person. As opposed to W, who had a closed mind.

N had so many image makeovers that she would appear new to me every single time. P usually wore bright floral prints, while H would keep replacing her wardrobe with every new (fashion) season.

Y would keep doing the same things over and over again, while Z would cancel out what Y did. D and Q were two extremely quiet kids, and I could never figure out what they did.

B was the only one who was completely unafraid of me. Bold kid, I must say. He used to hang around with I who had this curious slanting posture. And U, oh U, whose test papers had so many mistakes that I had to keep underlining every other line.

Speaking of tests, you had to control C, but he would still end up copying on his test. You could hardly control X as he ended up cutting classes most of the time. And V, that naughty kid put glue on my chair!!! Boy, did I give him a pasting after that.

But, the naughtiest ones were A and S. I learnt that if you could control A, you took care of everything, and if you control S, you saved your job.


PS1: The after effect of working on MS Word day in and day out, with an outdated mouse. A pathetic excuse for an equally pathetic post.

PS2: But I did teach a class for four years, and I learnt more from them than they did from me.

[Update: From initial comments here, and feedback from friends, it seems that people are mistaking this for a serious post, about real students et al. Sigh. Suffice it to say that

1) This is NOT about real students, though I was a teacher once upon a time. We'll reserve that memoirs for Teacher's Day or something. Sorry for the serious title and the serious intro. Screwed up there.

2) However, it is not a completely arbit post. There is a reason why those letters are used. And it is not a very clever puzzle or something, should be relatively easy to figure out.

3) The PS1 is crucial. ]


  1. Extremely pathetic post. Giving them names in the form of letters was a quite tedious to read.

    The material of the post was good but your writing screwed the charm.

  2. It seemed like an unsolvable aptitude question. :(

    All you had to do was ask your readers to seat them around a table in the right order!

  3. @ spidey:
    I'm happy I finally wrote something that you couldn't understand. Role reversal is sweet.

    @ Vivek:
    Ok, the letters are there for a purpose. And it is mch easier than an aptitude question.

    @ Both:
    Two engineers who didn't get it. Maybe I should italicize the bad puns?

  4. Maybe they would have been normal if you hadn't been such a 'Ctrl' Freak.

    Hope there aren't any 'Alt'ernate / 'Shift'ing dimensions of the control freak post in the making.

    P.S: See I'm an engineer and i got it. ;)

  5. Anonymous8:49 AM

    the title does sound very serious..being an engineer I understood...

    Good job at frustrating some ppl! ;)


  6. @ mani:

    you are right on the money (excuse the poor phonetic pun and this alliteration)

    am sure the engg community is proud of you, for upholding their pride ;)

    @ Anon SS:
    My only anonymous fan turns out to be an engineer??? What did I do to deserve this?

  7. Nice one...revised all microsoft shortcuts in one small article!

  8. @ Liberal:
    tnx... that was very liberal of you :)

  9. Ok, i confess - i did 'Slap My Forehead' after this one! :-)

  10. @ Sangeetha:

    well, some people wanted to come over and slap *my* forehead... so, as long as it's ur forehead, i have no problems...

  11. very bad SRK... not a good post at all!
    u r way better than this! do drink some old monk before writing!

  12. Anonymous8:10 AM

    Haha, since it is true that you got to teach for a while, I have to say that I'm jealous! That's my dream job!

  13. @ Hem:
    yes, I'll take the Old Monk advice seriously ;)

    @ foreigndesi:
    Teaching is my dream job too. But it doesn't pay. Not as much as it should. So, I hope to make enough dough before I proceed to go mess with young minds :)