Jun 28, 2009

Rains are a pain!

Bombay has a special relationship with rains. Tired of sweating profusely all summer, people wait eagerly for the first showers to cool down and cleanse the city. People offer prayers if the monsoons are delayed by a week, and some unfortunate frogs/ donkeys are married off.

Pic Credit: Bombay Times.

The city papers run a series every year, a beautiful pic of a star prancing happily along Marine Drive/ Bandra bandstand (this time, they had Amrita Rao, swoon!), accompanied by an article where two-paise worth celebs give their oft-repeated “rains mean romantic walks”, “I love the smell of the earth”, or “a chance to enjoy some hot chai and pakora” quotes. There is also a mandatory pic of some slum kids joyously diving into a pool of water, essentially an overflowing sewer but who cares? Tis the season to be silly.

But I hate rains. Hate them. Hate them. Hate them.

Rains bring back a flood of bad memories. Or memories of bad floods. Whatever.

Rains meant slush and grime on the roads. Mud sticking all over my precious Hercules MTB on the ride to school. And of course mud all over my shoes which had to be polished again and again. And mud getting splattered all over me thanks to potholes on the road and an overspeeding car. (And no, I did not throw a stone at the car. Nor did I grow up to be a milkman singing about cows, fight with my best friend and become a millionaire to extract revenge. The prospect of dancing with Khushboo wasn’t too appealing, you see.)

Rains meant flooding on the streets. Walking through knee-deep water, with pieces of garbage/excreta floating nearby, to get to college. Trains getting cancelled, leading to fights with the rickshaw guy while getting drenched as he nonchalantly refuses to go by the meter and asks for three times the fare.

Rains meant strong cold winds. Umbrella getting overturned, making me feel stupid. Rain coming down at an angle, making me wet in spite of the umbrella. Wet trousers flapping, wet shirts clinging to my back, and wet socks creating a nasty stink. Yuck in all caps cannot even begin to describe it.

Rains meant running noses. And a bad cold. And wheezing through the night, sitting up propped by pillows, unable to lie down, unable to sleep. Having to eat that yucky Chyawanprash. And breathe in that yuckier inhaler thing.

Rains meant no cricket after school. And we never discovered the joy of football in the rains. And damp carrom boards where the coins never moved smoothly unlike in the summer vacations.

Rains meant watching what you eat. And still coming down with a bout of those motions, and having to survive on bread and idly and boiled vegetables. And having to drink boiled water. One would rather die of thirst.

Rains meant shivering baths. For a long time, sudu thanni was a pseudo thing, and real men took cold water baths. Even if they had running noses and wheezing problems later.

I am yet to have a single good experience in the rains. Ok, the long walks on Marine Drive and the chocolate cake at Barista, Bandstand might qualify. But even those were spent envying other cosy couples, while moaning about my loser status to other loser friends.

Maybe a couple of treks to some nearby hills. Matheran. Lohgad. But one place reeked of horseshit and I lost a floater in the other. Had to go around walking barefoot. So, bad there too.

So, all you romantic types can enjoy your walks and chai-pakoras, and smell the earth, whatever that means. I prefer to curl up in my bed and sleep it off. Unless Amrita Rao is walking in the rain. Or Asin. In which case, count me in.


  1. I'm from Bombay, so the rains are annoying to get caught in..but fun to watch from a window...I was caught in the 26/7 floods once...so I have had my share of bad experiences

  2. really? even rainy day chai pakode didn't entice you?

    khushboo is going to read this post, take offence, and sue you for public defamation. then you will be famous. and they will take a picture of you with chai pakora on a rainy day.

  3. I was a fan of the rain when I used to live in small towns. Now, it's kind of a hassle in a metro, with flooding and all.

    Off topic, I love Amrita Rao. If only she wasn't a star and was a Tambram from a small town in Tamil Nadu that nobody knew about, and who just happened to post her profile on tamil matrimony last week! Cha. I'd even consider getting a job to send my bio-data in.

  4. I love rain. Did i mention i love rain?

  5. hmmm.. in a place like chennai where rains are always welcomed, i've had a terrible experience during the dec 2005 floods.. i hate rain in that aspect too.. :)

    rain sucks unless you don't have to bother about anything u've mentioned there..

  6. @ Liberal:
    ah, 26/7... brings back memories of days spent without power, food and very little drinking water in a flooded hostel!
    well, we also had a gang which brought out guitars and drums... one of the verry few times I have enjoyed music...

    @ RR:
    rainy day chai pakode is actually appealing... except that the chai I made once was generously described as "poonai muthram" by my cousin... and I didn't dare to venture to make pakode ever...

    and why would khushboo file for defamation? I didn't call her names, I just said I don't want to dance with her.

    @ Idling:
    small town, big city whatever... I hate em :(

    and at last, we agree on a heroine we like :)
    have you seen Vivah?

    @ Anjana R:
    let' see... if I were to break my leg, and they put me in a hospital with a boring ceiling and a grumpy nurse... and there were raindrops going pitter-patter on my window... and everything looking fresh and wet and green...
    I think I'd still hate the rain!

    @ Chiju:
    that's well said... if I don't have to bother about any of those, then yes, rain is ok :)

  7. sitting inside, bunking school's much awaited weekly PT period, wrapped in a warm blanket feeling cold despite a switched off fan, thinking twice about visiting the loo, curled up with a book in a dark yet not so dark room, feeling sleepy but unwilling to sleep, hot ginger tea, nice masala tamizh movie, rained out f1 races or cricket matches, damp floors, damper air,power cuts, random blogposts on like minded topics - as long as there is a sheet of glass between me and the water, i just luvvvvvvvvv the rains... and yeah amrita rao is a bonus

  8. Anonymous12:10 PM

    really? I am surprised..I love rains! They make me feel lazy n cozy which I like..
    I think u need a girl next to you, and probably then you will enjoy it!
    Come on..imagine this, you get a cold and Amrita Rao asking you not to drink ice-cold water...I am sure you will like that common cold and the rain! :)


  9. I like the rain, but this Amrita Arora therapy that SS writes about is even better !

  10. @ Anand:
    "sitting inside" - the roof leaked! :(

    "bunking school's much awaited weekly PT period" - funny it never rained then!

    "wrapped in a warm blanket feeling cold despite a switched off fan" - bby is sweaty even in rains!

    "thinking twice about visiting the loo" - when u gotta go, u gotta go!

    "curled up with a book in a dark yet not so dark room" - ah, for once i agree!

    "feeling sleepy but unwilling to sleep" - that has never happenned... I drop off at the drop of a hat

    "hot ginger tea" - if only I could make it well...

    "nice masala tamizh movie" - suggest some

    "rained out f1 races or cricket matches" - never been into F1... and am not the only one confused by Duckworth Lewis

    "damp floors, damper air" - hate that man!

    "power cuts" - u like them???

    "random blogposts on like minded topics" - like this one?

    @ Anon SS:
    If I had a girl by my side, I'd be fighting on who gets the umbrella... not singing "Pyaar hua ikraar hua"

    and yeah, Amrita Rao saying "Ji, Jal" is one of my favvvv scenes in Vivah!!!

    @ Satish Bhat:
    Amrita RAO man, not ARORA... though I like the latter one too... "Dilli ki sardi" after all!!!

  11. I dont know which is more evil....drowning in Bombay or melting in Delhi..I`d still maybe pick the former

  12. @ Lipika:
    well, if I HAVE to drown, I'd rather drown in Bombay than any other city!!!

    and most definitely not in Delhi!