I should have suspected Murphy would be arriving. He hadn’t visited me in a long time. Today was a very usual day, a xerox copy of so many previous days.
Go to office, log in to gmail, mail, chat, update stupid cheapo status msg, remember that work is to be done, do work, read blogs, do more work, crib to friends about work, crib to friends about not having ‘good’ work, eat tasteless lunch, remember mom’s cooking, come back to reality, solve Hindu crossword, give up half way, order coffee, ask for extra strong coffee to guard against drowsiness, fall asleep anyway, remind self that ‘power nap’ is a concept only in theory and not when your boss comes around to see how work is progressing, start cribbing about snacks not coming one hour before it usually comes, eat tasteless snack and wonder whether the cribbing/waiting was worth it, look at watch, see it is 5.30, expect boss to call you since he always calls ‘after’ the official closing time, answer phone from boss, feel happy that you were proved right about him calling, feel sad that you will have sit late now, slog some more, realize that the work is not too hard and can be finished later too, pack up and leave for home… busy day, eh?
Anyways, here I am, going home after such a hard day’s work. I reach Dadar station and realize that my home keys have been conveniently forgotten in office. Now, on any usual day, I could have said ‘chuck it’ and gone home, where one or the other roomie would be there. But, both the roomies had taken off for Diwali and gone home. (u loser, why didn’t you also take leave and go home?). I call up my friend who usually sits late in office in the hope that I can ask him to pick up my keys. Call. Not reachable. Call. Not reachable. Call. Not reachable. Call. Not reachable. (yeah, BPL has doubled its network!!!). So I call another friend and tell him that if I can’t collect my keys, I will stay at his place. Now, I consider that I have the ‘haq’ to drop in unannounced, but when friends work till midnight, dropping in unannounced will mean being greeted by a locked door. He says, “No problem yaar. Isme poochne ki kya baat hai.” (thanks dude, sau saal jiyo).
Anyways, I hop into a train for Churchgate. Empty train. In Mumbai!!! Yippie… mebbe things are not so bad after all. A couple gets in. Guy starts necking around. (even he was thinking “Empty train. Yippieee”). Keep going dude, this is what I need to take my mind off forgotten keys… (man, the guy looks like a gorilla… the girl is cute though… how come all the stupid guys get all the sexy girls… I mean, ignoring minor things like my pot belly, slightly bald head, PJs and bad dressing sense, I am sexy too… after all, my name is SRK)… anyways, there is this irritating ‘chamathu payyan (CP)’ inside me who yells “move it man. Don’t embarrass them. How would you like if someone stared at you and your girl?” So for once, I listen to this CP and move on…
Anyways, I am praying hard that the security doesn’t leave early, and the office is kept open… Funny how a half atheist like me ‘prays’ when in trouble… As if, my prayer would make God delay the security guy… I mean, his wife and kids would be praying that he returns home early…
I rush back to office… the lights are on… thank you God… mebbe Mrs. Security did not pray hard enough… anyways, I collect my keys and heave a sigh of relief…
Oops, so sorry Murphy, I’ll have to see you off to Bangalore again. You see, I got the keys.
I return home thinking of happy things in life. Diwali mood. Festival of Lights. Prosperity. Joy.
I enter my building. Press the lift button. Press. No response. Press. No response. Press harder. No response.
Ok, I climb the six floors. I am wheezing, partly from the Diwali cracker smoke and partly from the effort of climbing my Mt. Everest. I am totally breathless.
One more person is breathless. Murphy. He is laughing his guts out.
PS: Happy Diwali ppl