Feb 13, 2009

I still hate V-day

"Women like guys who make them laugh."
If you think about it for a moment, the above line is actually a very good joke. On guys like me.
Ok, some of you may argue that PJs don't actually make you laugh. Sigh, the truth always sucks.

"Women like poetry, especially that which is dedicated to them".
Again, I am not claiming that the lamericks below are poetry. That would be stretching poetic license a bit too much. Neither are they dedicated to women. But why are we nitpicking? We aren't lawyers after all.

Anyways, it is V-day, and while people are fighting over culture or the lack of it in celebrating the same, there are some losers like me who are still searching. (Aside: It doesn't matter whether you are pub-going or not, forward or backward, loose or tight. If at all you send me a pink thingy, I want you to come in it. Pun intended.)

Anyways, V-day is an excuse to whine and wallow in self-pity, and come up with some horrendously banal verse.

So, here goes...

One year ago, I whined on V-Day;
and now I have come back to say
that, forget about wooing a lovely gal,
thanks to the depressing times, dear pal,
am more worried about a cut in my pay!

“Oh my God, look at that lovely lass”
"I just luvvv the way she moves her ass!”
Ah, those days of nudge nudge wink wink,
damn f**k, these days, all I can think
is “What’s happening to RIL's KG Gas?”

There was a time when girls we used to rate,
now, we just worry about our appraisal fate!
Where have they gone, those carefree days?
Only to be replaced by (sob) some stupid KRAs;
Is this what they call the sawaal of the paapi pet?

To be frank, most girls may not really like
a poor guy who can’t even afford a bike;
thanks to those greedy buggers of Wall St.
Bankers are as desirable as rotten meat;
No bonus, not even a measly pay hike!

So, lovely ladies, this lamerick is a dedication
since you are every lovesick guy’s medication,
I know, the above lines were extremely corny
and no, I didn’t mean anything remotely horny!
As it is against the culture of this great nation!!!


  1. heh ore poetry thano?
    Wicked one!
    How many gals do you think gonna fall for it?
    Every love sick guy's medication AND mediation?

  2. @ RR:
    some ppl with peelings go and ransack pubs...
    athuku naan evalovo safe :)

    @ Naren:
    chuckling at my plight?
    sob sob...

    @ Vivek:
    well, I pass thru these crazy phases in life... some weeks are full of stupid puns... some full of lamericks... most full of boring number crunching which thankfully I don't post :)

    and how many gals do i think gonna fall for it? heh that's easy...
    since most readers here are engineers, let me explain to u in equations:
    the numerator is any random number...
    the final answer is my fantasy: infinte...
    the denominator is the number of gals who actually fall for it!

  3. @srk: ur equation is actually classical gibberish. you're dividing by a variable which is expected to be the final result.

  4. I still can'r figure if your poem is directed to all prospective gals or your boss for the next pay check!
    LOL @ Ram's comment!

  5. @ Ram:
    Hmm, u must be an engineer...
    there is a difference between 'expectation' and 'actual final result'...

    anyways, from CAPM theory, u know there is something called alpha... the difference between actual returns and expected returns... jus tht in this case, alpha is negative...

    @ Vivek:
    I'm cool if even one of the two targets gets the message :D

  6. Vijay:

    Bad limerick ! But a nice way to start a post.

  7. @ hirok:
    @ bad limerick...
    I have said this before, I'm saying it again: "It can get verse"

    and yeah, time u updated ur blog too...

  8. whining on V day makes you are very smart and interesting person ... at least in my books

  9. @ Tazeen:
    thanks a lot... though I suspect you are holding some wrong books :)

    whining on V-day makes me a loser... and I'm quite unapologetic about being one :)

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  11. "(Aside: It doesn't matter whether you are pub-going or not, forward or backward, loose or tight. If at all you send me a pink thingy, I want you to come in it. Pun intended.)"

    hahahahha... ROFL.. too good SRK!

    don;t worry too much about the pay checks... thank god we are NOT in b-school.. think of those poor ones :P

  12. @ Hem:
    tnk u...

    and as for thinking of 'those poor ones', well, why stop at b-school people? after all, they are still among the 'privileged lot'... I can even think of millions of hungry people who don't have food to eat... but then, that would mean no cribbing in life... which is difficult...

  13. going through your archives too...dude....how come iv never come across ur blog before...totally making me laugh...

    im fully the impressed with u...im louing ur sense of humour...and more importantly the intended puns ;)

    pls not to mind if u get comments from me for all ur old posts! :)

  14. @ fiona:
    ooh, comments on archives too? thank u thank u...

    and as for "how come iv never come across ur blog before..."
    well, am more curious about how u came across my blog now...