I still hate V-day

"Women like guys who make them laugh."
If you think about it for a moment, the above line is actually a very good joke. On guys like me.
Ok, some of you may argue that PJs don't actually make you laugh. Sigh, the truth always sucks.

"Women like poetry, especially that which is dedicated to them".
Again, I am not claiming that the lamericks below are poetry. That would be stretching poetic license a bit too much. Neither are they dedicated to women. But why are we nitpicking? We aren't lawyers after all.

Anyways, it is V-day, and while people are fighting over culture or the lack of it in celebrating the same, there are some losers like me who are still searching. (Aside: It doesn't matter whether you are pub-going or not, forward or backward, loose or tight. If at all you send me a pink thingy, I want you to come in it. Pun intended.)

Anyways, V-day is an excuse to whine and wallow in self-pity, and come up with some horrendously banal verse.

So, here goes...

One year ago, I whined on V-Day;
and now I have come back to say
that, forget about wooing a lovely gal,
thanks to the depressing times, dear pal,
am more worried about a cut in my pay!

“Oh my God, look at that lovely lass”
"I just luvvv the way she moves her ass!”
Ah, those days of nudge nudge wink wink,
damn f**k, these days, all I can think
is “What’s happening to RIL's KG Gas?”

There was a time when girls we used to rate,
now, we just worry about our appraisal fate!
Where have they gone, those carefree days?
Only to be replaced by (sob) some stupid KRAs;
Is this what they call the sawaal of the paapi pet?

To be frank, most girls may not really like
a poor guy who can’t even afford a bike;
thanks to those greedy buggers of Wall St.
Bankers are as desirable as rotten meat;
No bonus, not even a measly pay hike!

So, lovely ladies, this lamerick is a dedication
since you are every lovesick guy’s medication,
I know, the above lines were extremely corny
and no, I didn’t mean anything remotely horny!
As it is against the culture of this great nation!!!
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