Feb 20, 2009

Silly 6

In the midst of all the PJs and the rhymes, I forgot one of the main reasons why I started this blog. No, not to become world famous and get a million dollar book deal. Honest.

I started the blog so that I can rant to my heart’s content!

The week’s been bad. Work has been kinda hectic. A bad cold on top of that. Perfect time to behave like the Nilgiri Blue Mountain Express (i.e. let out some steam!). Or to inhale some with Vicks in it.
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ONE

I get pissed off with people who demand that the world to bow to their every whim and fancy. You know, the tribe that exudes a sense of being entitled. Now, don’t you ask me why. I am entitled to my opinion!
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TWO

I get pissed off with anyone who acts superior. (Except the boss. Bosses not only act superior but they are entitled to do so!). I mean, being grounded is not a bad thing. Unless you are a fat Indian Airlines air-hostess. In which case, time to go to court, aunty.
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THREE

I get pissed off with people who parrot inanities like ‘adversity toughens people’. It does not. Walking 6 km to school may at the most make you physically fit. (and that too, provided you get some food in your system). I feel it is a big conspiracy by the rich and the middle class to romanticize poverty through the ‘rags to riches’ stories, so that the poor don’t protest about people walking around with a sense of entitlement and acting superior. Heck, I’ll rant about this in another more detailed post.
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FOUR

I get pissed off with a certain smart alec politician constantly harping about ‘change’ and ‘moving forward’. For one, you remind me of the BEST conductor who yells ‘pudhe chala’ and ‘sutte paise dya’ at me every morning. And two, 787 billion dollars is not change, it is big big bucks. Khuda kasam, take out a billion and it still remains a divine number. And while we are at it, let me also sneak in a pathetic PJ about a guy who dressed up as a 1-rupee coin at a fancy dress party. Apparently, a famous leader had remarked, “Be the change you want to be...”
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FIVE

I get pissed off with lawyers. I don’t know which fancy school your superior parents put you in, that you feel entitled to express (or imply) shock that I don’t know what ‘mutatis mutandis’ means. From where I come from, they teach plain English. The kind which ToI writes and wins a prize for. And prima facie, I (hereinafter referred to as “the writer”) wish to make it clear that 'inter alia', 'thereunder', 'pursuant to clause 12' etc are not plain English. And I feel no guilt whatsoever in not knowing what ‘mens rea’ means. Except that it anagrams to the name of a gang of no hopers who incidentally express no mens rea while thrashing up random people for visiting pubs. Ok, let me change the topic and move forward.
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SIX

I get pissed off with telemarketers. Who doesn’t. I know I shouldn’t act superior and make fun of people’s adversity. But today’s call took the cake!
A lady calls me and says, “kya main aapse do minute baat kar sakti hoon?”
Me: “I’m busy, please call later.”
Lady: “accha sir, aapka naam kya hai?”
Me (thinking, oh the call is truly random?): “I told you I am busy!” (irritated tone)
Lady: “Accha, Mr. Busy, aapke paas credit card hai?”
Me: ?????
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PS1: Apologies to anyone who might have mistaken the title of the post for a sarci take on the name of a similar sounding movie. Am yet to watch it. Btw, did I mention that I also get pissed with star kids who feel entitled to their place in Bollywood on the basis of their surname, but act inferior, yet face no adversity, thereby encouraging that nothing changes and the industry doesn't move forward.

PS2: The above PS doesn't apply to Sonam Kapoor. Everything is forgiven, if you look pretty.

12 comments:

  1. i actually read the post title as dilli 6... guess what they say abt ppl not reading full letters, but just some letters & form words is true... how come so frusrated?

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  2. damn. I've seen the movie, and was to title my post thusly. you ruined it!

    ore the rocking ps2. "D

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  3. enjoyed! and more or less agree on all points, except telemarketers. I know they're irritating, but somehow I just cant bring myself to be nasty to them.

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  4. @ shilpi:
    yes, it is a marketing tactic... ask the makers of Cliuic All Clear...

    @ RR:
    was the 'damn' for seeing the movie or for the post title?
    anyways, you CAN use the title, it's not like I have a copyright or something...

    @ Naren:
    tnk u :)
    and "I am busy" in whatever tone, is not nasty. Not in my books. You shud see some people abuse them in chaste mumbai local lingo. THAT is nasty.
    I am a nice guy. Honest.

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  5. Heh heh blowing off steam? :D Like the nilgiri Express, Good one!
    1.) I'm surprised there are only 6.
    2.) They are in no way silly.I agree on all six.(I would have said I was busy and hung up right away). :)
    3.)Next time write about the movie. (Was half hoping it would get a poor review.)
    4.)Everything is forgiven, if the writing is good. :D

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  6. @ Vivek:
    1) As I said, mktg tactic to piggy back on the film title. And be thankful the director didn't do a Mumbai 89! it would have led to a really looooong post.
    2) "They are in no way silly" - Fools seldom differ. Or, in case you are easily offended, "Great minds think alike."
    3) I don't do movie reviews. Reasons given in an post written long back. See Label 'Follywood'.
    4) Yeah. Everything is forgiven if the comments says "Good" :D

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  7. "mmm"
    that's all i get from my first, and for a long time, only reader???
    time for a new rant on 'dost dost naa raha'...

    snif drop tear!

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  9. Haha

    Once a telemarketer called me 4 times in a space of 2 minutes!! saying "Sir, main airtel company se bol rahi hoon ... ek plan ke baare mein bataana tha ... blah blah blah".
    After having told her " I am not interested" pretty politely THRICE... I finally responded to her opening line saying "Haan kya mujhe laga aap apne muh se bol rahi hain" ... She was like "KYA??" and she hung up!

    I ve never got a call from Airtel again ... in almost 3 years now :)

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  10. You have ONLY 6 rants ! THATS all ?! Just talk to Ranga once...he might help you add more !

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  11. @ Roshan:
    Airtel is THAT averse to PJs???
    hmm, mebbe i shud unleash some of my deadlier ones next time someone calls

    @ hirok:
    re-read point 1 of reply to Vivek's comment above...
    and i know Ranga has no competition in this subject...

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