Jan 9, 2009

Finance rocks!

Yesterday was one of those days when my deep love for engineers went up a few notches. A very senior person had come to talk about the workings of a thermal power plant. As he went on and on about boilers, turbines, generators and what not, my mind reeled. AC, DC, induced draft, force draft, whoa, wait a minute! I thought you just put the coal in, burn it up, and say Ohm.

And as it always happens with me, my inner voices (the angel and the devil) popped up. And, I was a mute (ok, not so mute) spectator (or audience?) to the voices…
PG rating: Some of you may find this unsuitable for your kids. But, I'd advise that you let them read it. After all, they are gonna learn to say F**k anyways. Yes, even the chamatthu ones.
(A for Angel, D for Devil, Me for well, me)

A: Now, don’t you regret going for commerce instead of taking up science? After all, as a Tambrahm, don’t you know that you can choose any career as long as it is BE-luck?

Me: Maybe. Just a teeny weeny little bit of regret. In a small corner of my heart.

D: Dude, what’s with the cribbing? Just because you don’t understand watt is volt! or you think transformers is just a movie.

A: Admit it. When you passed std X, you could have done anything. Engineering, medicine, law, even hotel management. And you ended up taking commerce!!!

Me: Well, to be honest, I didn’t have much of a clue.

D: Dude, wait a effing minute. You made the perfect choice. Now you get to engineer financial products, doctor the expense vouchers, and even cook the books if you feel like it. And while lawyers merely do trials, you do a Trial Balance! Which other career would let you be whatever you want to be?

Me: Wow, now how come I didn’t think of that?

A: But you know, it would have been wonderful to go on and do a PhD or something. Invent new things, even win the Nobel prize.

D: Huh, PhD? You mean those losers who spend years (and their father's money) waiting for their writings to be appear in some obscure journal. You get to put in a Journal entry when you feel like it.

Me: Yes. that is there. Though I leave the ledger for some other joker.

A: Very funny. (smirks)

Me: Even my angel doesn’t appreciate my PJs! (Sob)

A: Ok ok, say another one and I’ll laugh. I promise.

Me: Hmm, here goes… Who was the world’s first accountant?

A: Who?

Me: Adam! He was the first to turn a leaf and make an entry!

A: Gross! What next? Sick jokes on the double entry system?...

A: ... and not even original! Plagiarizing thief!

Me: Hello, I heard this somewhere, I don’t remember where. And I am willing to give full credit to whoever came up with this one.

A: That’s the problem with you accountants. Even your jokes are boring.

D: Cut it out man! Stop whining. Finance rocks!

A: How?

D: Where else can you really suck at your job and still expect a bonus?

Me: Er, I don’t know… the p0rn industry maybe…

D: You stay out of this smart-ass. You keep forgetting that I am arguing for you, not against.

Me: Oh sorry. Just that I heard they are also asking for a bailout. So, you know, I thought exotic derivatives and erotic integration are both Caligulus. After all, both industries pride themselves on their big swinging dicks.

A: Stop making stupid sick jokes now!

Me: you mean, there is another kind?

A: Aargh!

D: Ah, nice way to shut him up.

Me: Trust me, that’s a nice way to shut most people up.

D: yeah, you’d know. Anyways, coming back to the point, Finance rocks!

Me: yeah, it rocks so much I feel a bit nauseated already!

A: Aarrgh! Go to hell, both of you.
PS: Why should every post have a PS? This one doesn't need it.


  1. looks like finance has put lotsa rocks in your head...

    engg solution:
    have some whiskey on the rocks to overcome this feeling !!

  2. Sooper!Loved the Adam one! By the way, what did the coroner write about Dracula's victims? Died due to account problems
    Where do accountants buy their clothes? At GAAP
    Why are they calling Ramalinga Raju Alfred Hitchcock? He's a director specializing in suspense accounts.

  3. @ monk:
    now that is one "solution" that I agree with :)
    even if it comes from an engineer!

    @ naren:
    to be very honest, the Adam one is borrowed... i hv conveniently forgotten the source...

    and be careful what you say about R.Raju... he is in line for the post of RBI governor... he creates money where none exists!!!