I have often been asked, “Why don’t you get a girlfriend?”… As with most questions, I struggle with the answers…
I mean, what does ‘get a girlfriend’ mean? Is there a market where they can be bought? Are they sold by the kilo? How much do they cost per kilo?
I also don’t get the “Why don’t you” part… It is not like I put a poster on my face saying, “Girls, back off”… (I don’t need a poster, my face does that for me :D).
As it is, I have never bothered. Am too busy admiring myself to spare time for admiring a girl. But, when so many people ask you this question, something is seriously wrong…
What is it about me that makes girls run away as if they would from a farting skunk?
Is it my long name like the famous Sidin (http://sidin.blogspot.com/2004/05/travails-of-single-south-indian-men-of.html) says?
Is it because I am an infamous miser who wouldn’t spend a penny (or a paisa) for a gal? I mean, I have never been inside a Barista, CCD or a McD… never…
Is it because I don’t go for movies with them, and coochie-coo in the last seat? FYI, I have visited the movie theatre twice in the last 8 years :D
Is it because my idea of a dinner is a thali at an Udipi restaurant, and not a Pizza at Joey’s?
Is it because I have this stupid habit of telling the truth? As in, “Dah-ling, Do I look good in this dress?” “Of course… umm… er… (whisper) not, Duh-ling”
No, it must be something more…
So, like a good Fin student, I did a CBA… in a romantic relationship -
The gal gets a free dinner, a free movie, a free ride and the attention of a guy.
The guy gets a kiss, a smooch if he’s lucky, and something more if the gal lets him…
Net positive for the gal …
The gal gets to pour out her worries, her tensions, her feelings… her fear that XYZ has a better wardrobe, or ABC has a better shoerack…
The guy gets to listen to crap, and has to nod his head along like he’s actually sympathizing.
Net positive for the gal …
The gal gets to show off her ‘trophy’ to the other gals… particularly, if the guy is rich… even better, if he’s an idiot.
The guy would like to show off his ‘trophy’ to other guys, but he’s afraid that they’ll lure her away… particularly if she’s sexy… even better, if she’s dumb.
Break even for both…
The gal gets a diamond necklace and a Shahtoosh shawl…
The guy gets a human wrap around…
Net positive for the guy…
After such a loooong analysis, [this is the exec summ], I decided that I was better off without a girlfriend…
So, now when people ask me, “Why don’t you get a girlfriend?”… I tell them, “I’m a firm believer in Arranged Marriage” :P
PS: My fav songs are 'Jaane kyun log pyaar karte hain' from DCH and 'Pyaar mein sou uljale hain' - the Vivek Oberoi-Ash wala movie :D
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I like it! Good job. Go on.
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