Beware, there is a new virus in town!!!

Beware, there is a new virus in town. It is said to be highly contagious.

The trouble is, governments are not yet on high alert, leave alone setting up committees to tackle the problem.

WHO has not declared it an epidemic, or a pandemic, and is not even monitoring the situation closely.

This virus is rumoured to affect people who stay in closed door environments, especially offices.

It is a new strain, and scientists have named it E1ME1 – Each One Mail Every One.

Symptoms include an irresistible recursive tendency to forward mails on the virus (topics including but not limited to listing down the symptoms, listing ways to stop the spread of the virus, listing phone numbers of various agencies and hospitals), a disturbing urge to wear weird looking ineffective masks, a heightened sense of imagination of experiencing some symptoms (usually occurring in concurrence with an inability to spell or decipher ‘hypochondriac’) and a penchant to offer some self prescribed medicinal advice.

While the number of people affected by this virus is unknown, we are happy to report that there have been no casualties. The virus is not fatal, though some of the recipients of the mails have been wishing otherwise.

No scientists are yet engaged in working on cures for this. However, sources on condition of anonymity opined that a slightly strong application of force by a human leg to the patient’s backside may help contain the spread of the disease.

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PS1: Speaking of diseases, did you know I suffer from Gymnesia - a tendency to forget to go to the gym. Not to be confused with Ghajinesia - a tendency to go to the gym and forget.

PS2: One of the side effects of Gymnesia is Fatigue - where the patient becomes extremely tired of people calling him / her fat.

PS3: However, let me clarify that I do not suffer from OBC-ity - a tendency to throw one's weight around without merit. Apparently, you are born with it. Or, you'll have to get a certificate for it.

PS4: Last heard, there was no punacea for these diseases. And so, I am doomed!