Aug 11, 2009

Beware, there is a new virus in town!!!

Beware, there is a new virus in town. It is said to be highly contagious.

The trouble is, governments are not yet on high alert, leave alone setting up committees to tackle the problem.

WHO has not declared it an epidemic, or a pandemic, and is not even monitoring the situation closely.

This virus is rumoured to affect people who stay in closed door environments, especially offices.

It is a new strain, and scientists have named it E1ME1 – Each One Mail Every One.

Symptoms include an irresistible recursive tendency to forward mails on the virus (topics including but not limited to listing down the symptoms, listing ways to stop the spread of the virus, listing phone numbers of various agencies and hospitals), a disturbing urge to wear weird looking ineffective masks, a heightened sense of imagination of experiencing some symptoms (usually occurring in concurrence with an inability to spell or decipher ‘hypochondriac’) and a penchant to offer some self prescribed medicinal advice.

While the number of people affected by this virus is unknown, we are happy to report that there have been no casualties. The virus is not fatal, though some of the recipients of the mails have been wishing otherwise.

No scientists are yet engaged in working on cures for this. However, sources on condition of anonymity opined that a slightly strong application of force by a human leg to the patient’s backside may help contain the spread of the disease.


PS1: Speaking of diseases, did you know I suffer from Gymnesia - a tendency to forget to go to the gym. Not to be confused with Ghajinesia - a tendency to go to the gym and forget.

PS2: One of the side effects of Gymnesia is Fatigue - where the patient becomes extremely tired of people calling him / her fat.

PS3: However, let me clarify that I do not suffer from OBC-ity - a tendency to throw one's weight around without merit. Apparently, you are born with it. Or, you'll have to get a certificate for it.

PS4: Last heard, there was no punacea for these diseases. And so, I am doomed!


  1. Gymnesia! teehee! Pses funnier than the posteses.

  2. Hahaha! Loved this! Gymnesia! Ghajinesia! Must use it with the missus. These days, the three words I long to hear from her are "OK, skip gym"

    OBCity is a classic! You must copyright it!

  3. The PS'es - seriously funny!

    PS: Is that an oxymoron?

  4. @ RR:
    See, the PSes are an afterthought... so, they are funnier because by the time I get to them, the thinking (the boring part) is over...

    @ Naren:
    even if you hear "skip gym", you never know whether they want you to jump while twirling a rope...

    @ Mani:
    tnk u...
    and no, it is not an oxymoron... after all, my motto in life is "If it is serious, it is funny"

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  6. nice one :-)

    you still have your 'air cushion' shoes to exercise :D

  7. LMAO @ OBC-ity! Brilliant! It's definitely copyright worthy!

  8. well.. i never knew that i had gymnesia till i read this one..

    Mr. Doctor! :)

  9. @ shilpi:
    even the air cushion shoes don't protect me from leg pulling :)

    @ Idling:
    tnx a lot...
    wanted to say this to Naren too... but personally, it is a crude joke for me... bcoz when it comes to reservations on basis of caste, i'm kind of a fence sitter...

    @ Chiju:
    Gymnesia is more infectious than any flu... i firmly believe that if God meant us to exercise, he would have attached a treadmill to our feet!

  10. Do you have a name for a disease where one can't stop laughing at this post even after half an hour?

    Agree with Naren. Many terms here are copyright-worthy!

  11. @ Juggler:
    tnx a lot... and no, I haven't been able to come up with a new for your affliction... seems like a unique disease :)

    and ok, mebbe i shud look out for a patent lawyer :)

  12. Anonymous9:36 AM

    a late comment..may be due to Blognesia..(forgetting to read blogs) :D

    I look forward now to read 'PS' than the actual post! :)


  13. @ Anon SS:
    Blognesia will not be a disease... it is what happens when one gets a life outside the virtual world :)

    and yeah, everybody seems to like the PS better than the post...