Feb 27, 2008

A day in the life of...

This post is a little late coming, but you can blame my three bosses for that…
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Scene starts:
Date: Feb 12, 2008.
Place: Mumbai
{Alarm buzzing loudly. Snooze. Alarm goes off again. Snooze.}

T: ji, wake up ji. Aapka alarm kab se baj raha hai. Uthiye jaldi!
A: Haan haan, bas 5 minute aur sone do. Bahut thak gaya…
T: roz toh jaldi uthke jogging jaate ho, aaj kya hua?
A: aaj mujhe ghar se nikalne ko hi dar lag raha hai. Zamaana aisa hai ki bhai bhai ko maarta hai, paison ke liye…
T: ji, ghar se nikalna toh padega hi. Aapko office nahi jaana kya? wahan log aapka wait karte honge.
A: haan, jaana toh hai. Par aaj bilkul mood nahi hai. Aaj mujhe office mein log khoob gaali denge…

T: aap toh itne bade position mein ho, aapko kaun gaali de sakta hai?
A: arre, saamne se ‘saab saab’ bolenge… par peet peeche gaali denge…
T: theek hai ji, ab life mein yeh sab toh hota hi hai ji. Kabhi koi sabaashi deta hai, toh kabhi gaali khaani padhti hai. Aapke pitaji itne acche aadmi the, unhe bhi toh koi na koi gaali deta tha.
A: haan, yeh baat toh hai. Pitaji hote, toh shaayad yeh din nahi dekhna padhta. Waise, sach boloon toh unhi ke naam mujhe bachayega.
T: theek hai theek hai, ab baat karte rahenge ya thaayar bhi honge?
A: arre, soch raha hoon aaj chutti le loon.
T: aap meri baat nahi maanoge, maaji ko bulati hoon.

(leaves room, screaming maaji)
Maaji enters...
K: Beta, utho abhi. Bachpan se ise yehi aadat hai bahu. Jis din exam ka result aana hoga, us din school jaane se inkaar karega. Ab itna bada ho gaya, fir bhi wohi bachpana. Utho beta, tumhara driver bhi aa gaya.
A: nahi maa, thoda aur sone do…
K: ab uthega ya main tumhara bhai ke paas chala jaoon?
A: hamesha yehi senti dialogue maarti ho maa. Theek hai, jaata hoon office. Bhagwan ke kripa se aaj main zinda laut jaoon toh accha hai.



Kokilaben: arre, kuch nahi hoga tuhje pagle. Tu Dhirubhai ka beta hai. Ek stock girne se duniya nahi toot jaati.
Tina: haan maaji, main bhi yehi toh samjha rahi thi…
Kokilaben: haan, kuch bonus-wonus deke sabko chup kara dena. Woh kehte the, public memory bahut ki short hai. Aaj paisa doobega toh public gaali degi, kal bonus announcement aate hi wohi log kahenge ki aakhir Ambani hai, hamara bharosa mitthi mein nahi milayega.
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PS: Apologies for the bad Hindi.

2 comments:

  1. aren't you the same guy who gives away money saying - "arre yaar ambani hai... hamara paisa surakshith hai aur zaroor achha returns milega... do-theen documents idhar-udhar ho tho kya, ambani hai yaar..."

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  2. Disclaimer: All views expressed in this blog are the personal opinion of the author, and do not in any reflect the views of his employer...

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