Feb 14, 2015

The Mahasabha read this post. You won't believe what happened next!

They say it is against Indian Culture.

They say it is nothing but young people mindlessly corrupted by Western influence.

They even threaten to forcibly marry you off, if they find you going out on this day with a lady of your choice.

But even those lunatics love this tradition. The tradition of me putting a limerick on V-day on my blog.

I have cribbed for seven years now. (each of those links lead to each of the seven posts. Clever, isn't it?)

And now, I proudly uphold tradition, and present to you, the Eighth (and if mom has her way, possibly the last) Post.

Can you believe it! Eight Bloody Years!
that I've been cribbing here, my dears,
about this cruel cruel thing called fate
that still hasn't led me to my dream mate.
But spare me your pity, and your tears!

You see, I haven't given up on hope...
Some of you may think I'm on dope
Or even conclude that I'm stark raving mad
But frankly, being single's not really that bad
Don't have to believe me, just ask the Pope!

I get to choose what to do with my life
no worries about offending the bossy wife
I get to do what I want with my money
and not hear, "Buying that? Really. honey?"
There is neither any argument, nor any strife!

But I see some guys, and think, "Are they on weed?
or is there some funny joke that I did not read?"
Turns out, it's got something to do with this season
that some people start smiling for no apparent reason
and say "I am in love, and there's nothing else I need!"

Now, I'm sometimes tempted to smoke that shit
just to find out what it's like to be love-hit,
To throw away all rational thought and logic
to fight against my will, and believe in magic,
the trouble is, it's a one-way street with no exit!

I mean, it's not like you can try it out to see if it works,
like, let's sign up for it, and find out what are the perks
and if we don't like what's on offer, we can just get up and quit
and say, hey, t'was nice knowing you, but here's where we split
nope, can't do that, without risking being called heartless jerks.

And that my friends is why I am still searching to find love
She has to like me for who I am, not start thinking how
can she change this loser into some dream guy material
I mean, ladies, some of you need to be told, "Get real!
A guy can't change who he is just to please you, can he now?"

But I've been told I have to make the effort to change...
to be nicer to people, even to those who make me cringe
But my problem is that I am yet to meet the gal who can,
as dear old Jack said, make me want to be a better man...
Now, is that something any of you folks can arrange?

PS: The quality of this crib has been deteriorating over the years, eh? Perhaps the blogging gods are giving me a hint.


  1. Anonymous10:24 AM

    Comeon man!
    You must have experienced crushes at least--the gooey one--that leads to love if given time and proximity. I fell in love in school and college,didn't have the confidence to pursue them,focussed too much on my career and now sadly feel I've not really lived it all. I just don't feel like going for an arranged marriage where I'm as good as my paycheck when the honest fact is I havent got over my college crush. I wish you could spell out your problem really. Are you too cynical to marry or want love marriage like most as well?
    I am a regular reader of your v-day rants and damn those Gods who you think believe otherwise.

  2. @ Anon:
    Crushes, yes... neither time nor proximity was given though. And they didn't lead to anything. Other than these annual whining, that is :)

    Why do you assume I have a problem? Agreed, I am too cynical but that is hardly a problem. Not in my eyes!

    Regular reader eh? Thanks. That gives me motivation!

  3. Anonymous2:17 PM

    I can sense that you have no social life and are stuck in a dead-end job. For saving your wry sense of humour,you should marry.

  4. @ Anon 2:
    Four years ago, I'd have replied with "I can sense that you have an innate urge to comment on other people's social life and jobs without possessing adequate data. For saving your practice of giving gratuitous advice, you should start your own blog."

    But you see, this stupid thing called age sometimes, not always, but sometimes tempers down people's urge to be sarcastic. Unfortunately.

    So I will only humbly ask, what is your definition of a 'social life'? Where did you get that sense about me being stuck in a dead-end job? And how does your idea of getting married save a person's sense of humour, wry or otherwise? Questions, questions.