Modern day Swayamvars :(

Long, long ago, there was a practise in ancient India called Swayamvar. It has been described many times in our mythology. It is generally about a princess who has attained the eligible age for marriage. A line-up of eligible grooms is lined up. They come dressed up in their best, and vie for the beautiful princess’ hand. Sometimes, the grooms have to demonstrate their eligibility by completing some difficult task. Arjuna, for instance, won Draupadi’s hand by shooting a rotating fish by looking at its reflection in India. Whenever my Patti narrated this story, I always wondered how shooting a fish makes him eligible for being a good husband. Does being a better archer make him a better and more caring, understanding human being? Or was a better archer assumed to be a better protector of his wife? I never got the answer then.

I assumed that since the wise elders couldn’t come up with a fool-proof way to evaluate the grooms, they decided that they might as well have some fun conducting the event… it sure must have been fun seeing one guy after another trying his best to shoot at a fish, while keeping one eye on the beautiful princess, who was gonna decide who was gonna decide the outcome…

Times changed, and roles reversed. In the twenty-first century age of women empowerment, the practise of ‘arranged marriage’ continues… the guy’s family goes to the gal’s place… it is a time for free food in the form of delicious bajji-bonda… the guy’s family asks the gal whether she knows how to cook, how to sing, how to dance and some more inane questions… the poor gal dresses up for the occasion, out to impress her probable suitor… and the mockery continues… I always wondered whether a better cook, a better singer and a better dancer makes for a better human being… and I never got the answer…

I assumed that since today’s wise elders are no wiser than ancient ones, they decided that they might as well have some fun while going about the dreary job of hunting a suitable bakri for their useless chokra… and what can be more fun than free food, being fussed over, and generally feeling superior especially since the other party can’t say anything…

I witnessed a similar form of Swayamvar in my b-school… there were companies coming to look at the potential aspirants… all of us dressed up like any obedient daughter in a traditional Indian family would when the guy’s family comes visiting… all of us practiced our introductions, our strengths, weaknesses and hobbies and interests… and our future plans and career objectives and a host of other things…

I have always wondered why companies are interested in my hobbies and what books I read… does that make me a better employee? Why do they ask us our strengths and weaknesses, when they know perfectly that not one person is going to admit to his/her real weaknesses? Since the company is smart enough to know that people are obviously bluffing, do they actually look for people who can lie with a straight face, and that consistently when cross-questioned? Also, why do they conduct 15 minute shouting matches euphemistically called a GD? Does the loudest guy/gal make the best employee, because he/she can out shout the competition? Why do they want to know what our plans for the next five years are, when year after year, candidates have been known to jump companies within two years of joining? As usual, I never got my answer…

I assumed that today’s HR professionals are the re-incarnation of yesteryears’ wise elders. They know that just about any guy they pick up from a top B-school would perform decently… and it is a very boring process to actually sit through and select the better ones… So, they decide that they might as well have some fun while they are at it… I mean, it must be really amusing to hear perfectly intelligent students pitching their wares like they were at a whore-house. It must be real fun looking at modern day Arjunas trying to sell fish GD while keeping one eye on the pretty HR Draupadi who is gonna decide the outcome...

From shooting the fish, to selling fish in a GD... this entire selection process sounds very fishy to me... and I never get any answers... One day, sometime in the future, I hope to get the answers I need… hey, mebbe that is my plan for the next five years!!!