A day in the life of...

This post is a little late coming, but you can blame my three bosses for that…
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Scene starts:
Date: Feb 12, 2008.
Place: Mumbai
{Alarm buzzing loudly. Snooze. Alarm goes off again. Snooze.}

T: ji, wake up ji. Aapka alarm kab se baj raha hai. Uthiye jaldi!
A: Haan haan, bas 5 minute aur sone do. Bahut thak gaya…
T: roz toh jaldi uthke jogging jaate ho, aaj kya hua?
A: aaj mujhe ghar se nikalne ko hi dar lag raha hai. Zamaana aisa hai ki bhai bhai ko maarta hai, paison ke liye…
T: ji, ghar se nikalna toh padega hi. Aapko office nahi jaana kya? wahan log aapka wait karte honge.
A: haan, jaana toh hai. Par aaj bilkul mood nahi hai. Aaj mujhe office mein log khoob gaali denge…

T: aap toh itne bade position mein ho, aapko kaun gaali de sakta hai?
A: arre, saamne se ‘saab saab’ bolenge… par peet peeche gaali denge…
T: theek hai ji, ab life mein yeh sab toh hota hi hai ji. Kabhi koi sabaashi deta hai, toh kabhi gaali khaani padhti hai. Aapke pitaji itne acche aadmi the, unhe bhi toh koi na koi gaali deta tha.
A: haan, yeh baat toh hai. Pitaji hote, toh shaayad yeh din nahi dekhna padhta. Waise, sach boloon toh unhi ke naam mujhe bachayega.
T: theek hai theek hai, ab baat karte rahenge ya thaayar bhi honge?
A: arre, soch raha hoon aaj chutti le loon.
T: aap meri baat nahi maanoge, maaji ko bulati hoon.

(leaves room, screaming maaji)
Maaji enters...
K: Beta, utho abhi. Bachpan se ise yehi aadat hai bahu. Jis din exam ka result aana hoga, us din school jaane se inkaar karega. Ab itna bada ho gaya, fir bhi wohi bachpana. Utho beta, tumhara driver bhi aa gaya.
A: nahi maa, thoda aur sone do…
K: ab uthega ya main tumhara bhai ke paas chala jaoon?
A: hamesha yehi senti dialogue maarti ho maa. Theek hai, jaata hoon office. Bhagwan ke kripa se aaj main zinda laut jaoon toh accha hai.



Kokilaben: arre, kuch nahi hoga tuhje pagle. Tu Dhirubhai ka beta hai. Ek stock girne se duniya nahi toot jaati.
Tina: haan maaji, main bhi yehi toh samjha rahi thi…
Kokilaben: haan, kuch bonus-wonus deke sabko chup kara dena. Woh kehte the, public memory bahut ki short hai. Aaj paisa doobega toh public gaali degi, kal bonus announcement aate hi wohi log kahenge ki aakhir Ambani hai, hamara bharosa mitthi mein nahi milayega.
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PS: Apologies for the bad Hindi.

I HATE V-day...

Today they say is the day of St. Valentine
but all i can do is groan and whine...
b'coz i currently don't have a crush,
i sooo want to, but i've gotta rush
have to reach office by half past nine!

so, while ppl plan a mushy date
i sit in office very very late
no one to cosy up to and cuddle
but for an excel model which has me in a muddle
somehow, i still end up feeling great!

occasionally, i fantasize late into the night
of having a fiercely contested pillow fight
she'll aim, she'll swing and she'll miss
and when I win, she'll give me a kiss...
and say "darling, turn off the f***ing light!"

everyone builds castles in the air,
even i dream of being 'one of a pair'
sometimes i ask, "God, dear pal...
hope you haven't forgotten to create my dream gal!"
she has to be beautiful, not necessarily fair...

But God said "u write such bad rhyme"
and in My books, that's a crime...
so, I curse you, in this life,
not you, but your mom will find you a wife
and oh, "better luck next time!"
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PS: For those who do have a Valentine, enjoy your day!