"Go to Vietnam," they said.
"It will be fun," they said.
It was fun. Vietnam is a whole lot like India. A country of contradictions. Every opinion about the place and its diametric opposite holds true.
It is a place where you come away with a smile after an encounter with some of the warmest people you will have the pleasure of meeting. It is also a place which will make you tear your hair out at the shenanigans some of them try to pull.
But first, we had to get there. So, I will start at the very beginning (because I am not Nolan).
***********************************************
Our Vietnam trip was planned for end of December 2023. We had booked the tickets, the hotels, a cruise, the whole shebang. Then a personal emergency in the family led to us canceling the trip at the last moment. Thankfully, VietJet allowed us a credit shell to use the tickets anytime within the next 12 months.
Then 2024 happened. A year that was a bit of a crazy ride both personally and professionally. A year when I was suddenly reminded of my old friend, Murphy. Both Anusha and I badly needed a vacation. And the deadline for using the credit shell was coming up. So, we decided to tempt fate again and booked the tickets to Vietnam.
I don't believe in reincarnation. Generally. But maybe I was an American soldier in a previous birth raining Agent Orange on the poor Vietnamese. There is no other way for me to make sense of what happened at the VietJet check-in counter.
Our flight was for Dec 21st, a Saturday evening at midnight. 0040 hrs to be precise. We left home at a good four hours prior, with a plan to have a light dinner at the airport once we were done with the check-in. The ever reliable Google Maps showed 40 minutes to the airport. the The first sign was on the road itself. We encountered a massive traffic jam. An hour later, we were still on the road (pun intended). Leading up to the oxymoron that is the Western Express Highway. After figuring out alternate routes that involved going back to the other dreaded LBS Marg. Which, unlike the straight-forward leader it is named after, is anything but! We even called the airport to check when exactly the check-in counter closes, and were reassured that it only closes 60 minutes prior.
Anyway, to cut a long (sob) story short, we managed to arrive at the airport at 2320 hours. Skipped the entry queue, apologizing to the irritated passengers and rushed to the check-in counter only to see a board flashing "ETD 0200 hours". Phew. I still had hopes of getting some food into me, since I get really cranky like a four-year old when I am hungry.
The VietJet rep looked at our tickets, our passports and visas, checked something on his mobile and calmly informed us, "You are not on this flight. You have been transferred to the flight on 27th December."
I calmly turned to Anusha and said, "See, we were unnecessarily worried that we are late. Turns out we are a whole week early." And turned around and left the airport.
.
.
.
Of course not. If I had done that, I would not be boring you with this excuse of a blogpost now.
I simply said, "Wait, what?"
"Sir, you have been transferred to the flight on 27th December due to operational reasons."
"Ah, operational reasons. That explains it. See you in a week," I said. And turned around and left the airport.
.
.
.
Of course not. I mean, what the hell was the guy expecting me to do?
I simply put on my most professional poker face and said, "Sorry, I don't understand. What do you mean operational reasons? And what do you mean December 27th? We are going there for only 9 days, we already have our hotels and a cruise booked, we even have internal flights booked on your airline. We need to be on this flight."
"I am sorry sir. We had already sent a message to more than 150 passengers that they have been transferred to a different date. You would have also got the message."
"Wait, what? What message?"
Ok, turns out it is partly my fault. VietJet had indeed sent me a message. From an unknown number. On 20th December, at 2024 hours. A whole 28 hours prior to our flight. Enough time obviously for us to re-plan our whole trip. I was the idiot who had missed such an important announcement from my airline, in the form of an SMS.
So, I simply said, "Sorry, my bad." And turned around and left the airport. (You obviously know where this is going, so I am not going to put the three dots to simply write Of course not, and continue the post. After all, this is a blog, not a stupid WhatsApp forward).
I said, "Do you expect me to re-arrange my whole holiday on the basis of an SMS sent from an unknown number 1 night prior to the day I am supposed to fly?"
"I am sorry sir, but you have been transferred to a different flight due to operational reasons." He had started sounding like a broken record. I had run out of things to say.
Time to take this conversation to the next level. So, I channeled the inner Karen in me and said, "You need to speak to my manager" and promptly unleased Anusha on him.
Some of you have met Anusha. Most of you have not had the pleasure. You simply know her as the wonderful woman who was short-sighted enough to say yes to marry me.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you, Anusha Stubborn, First of Her Name, Queen of all my Kingdoms.
The next phase of this blogpost shall be presented in terms of a boxing match, between World Heavyweight Champion of "Saying the Same Line Multiple Times", the Airline Representative (AR1), and World Featherweight Champion of "Not taking No for an Answer" Anusha Rao (AR, but the 1 and only)...
(I dare not call her heavyweight, I did not survive 7.5 years of marriage by making such elementary mistakes!)
"What exactly is the operational reason?" Anusha starts with a light jab.
"The flight has been downgraded due to operational reasons. So a smaller aircraft has been assigned." AR1 deftly side-steps the jab.
"So it is your fault that a smaller aircraft was sent. Why should we paying passengers suffer for no fault of ours?" Anusha still testing her opponent with some jabs.
"Ma'am, the larger aircraft has been grounded due to operational reasons. We cannot help it. The flight is already full. We had to prioritize passengers who had onward journeys and connecting flights. We can compensate you for the flight, of course," AR1 is also an experienced boxer.
"My father was in Air India for 34 years. So I understand that aircraft gets occasionally grounded. But it is the airline's responsibility to put us on the next available flight of any other airline. We cannot be expected to postpone our entire trip by a week because of your fault," Anusha with a one-two punch slowly showing her repertoire. I was sorely tempted to add that Air India flights got grounded more than occasionally, but I was in her corner for this fight. So I reserved my jabs for a different day.
"You can book a flight through Indigo via Kolkata. We will reimburse that fare," AR1 conceding ground after taking a body hit.
I took out my phone to check the said Indigo flight through Kolkata. Anusha dismissed me to the side. She didn't want any distractions.
So, the rest of the fight happened at a distance, like the DragonBallZ episodes wherein the warriors suddenly ascend to the skies to continue their battles. I don't know what weapons Anusha used (or rather I know, but a magician's apprentice never reveals their tricks), but the next thing we know, AR1 is speaking to the captain and they are rushing us through security check and immigration.
And next thing I know, we are seated in the flight (which was supposedly 'full') and taking off to Saigon (now known as BCMC, sorry HCMC).
Turns out we got the crew seats (oops, magic trick revealed), and the crew who were supposed to rest on the return leg had to make do without their seats. Sorry folks. But we needed this break. More than you.
And that's how we landed at Saigon (now known as HCMC) on a Sunday morning, hungry (because we, sorry, I had not pre-booked an in-flight meal), weary and sleep deprived. Only to encounter a long queue at immigration that took over an hour to clear.
Clearly, Vietnam hates me.
Unfortunately, the feeling is not mutual. I loved Vietnam. At least, once I got there. An avocado smoothie at the airport ensured I was no longer cranky.
The actual trip details to follow in another post...
*********************************************************
PS: New Year Resolution to try and revive the blog. Let's see how it goes.
PS1: New Year Resolution to check every SMS from now on.
Posts
