The more things change... Part II

 I wrote a 10-year review post ten years ago and given all that has transpired since then, it seems like a good idea to revisit the theme...

Reading that earlier post, I smile, because what seemed like big leaps then, turns out to have been the first few confident steps in this funny journey called life...

A lot has happened in these past 10 years...

Bought a house in 2012. Vowed never to undergo that horrifying experience again. And like everything else that I told myself I'd never do, went ahead and bought another in 2018 and sold the first. At a notional profit and a real loss. 

Dreamt I would no longer have to deal with idiot Mumbai house owners and those cunning real estate brokers. Ended up in a rental after buying the first house anyway. Moved houses 4 times in this decade alone, and ended up in a place where I have told myself that I will stay put for the next decade and a half. Let's see how that pans out.

Went on my first foreign vacation. And then followed it up with many more, once I realized that meeting people and going to different places were more fun than I had imagined. Briefly became that irritating idiot who spouts the 'collecting experiences and forming memories are more important that accumulating stuff' nonsense while doing both anyways. But I did form some good memories. And some hazy ones because I had imbibed too much spirit to remember stuff. 

While I am usually careful with my money, vacations are my kryptonite. I started my first one with a detailed note on every cent spent, but over time, I have ended up splurging like a millionaire, with only a vague idea of who ripped me off. Have told myself that I shall continue to wander because as the last touristy knick-knack I bought reads "We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us". Let's see how that pans out.

Ran a few half marathons. Dreamt about a marathon. But I soon got bored of it. Tried exercise, but I simply don't have the mental discipline to stick to a proper workout regime. As I grow older, and with a hereditary history of diabetes (or what we call parambarai sotthu), I have promised myself that I will get fitter. Let's see how that pans out.

Changed jobs without changing my company, and worried about it. Then changed company without changing my job, and worried about that too. Stepped on to the Board of some portfolio companies, and worried about that too. Joked about attending 'bored meetings', as humour is nothing but a mask for underlying worries. And learnt that I tend to worry about stuff I can't control, when it comes to work and jobs, and it is time that I learn not to worry. Let's see how that pans out.

Dealt with the loss of my father. The emotional low point of this decade. I promised myself that I will do him proud. Still struggling with this, but I have made a small start. A few kids got their college fees paid, and they would never know that it was to honor the memory of a fine gentleman they never had the fortune to meet. And that is the way he would have liked it. I have promised myself that this is something that will grow much bigger in future. Let's see how that pans out.

Used to rant on V-day, whining about how girls were so myopic that they failed to see my charm. And then, gloated about charming this wonderful girl into marrying me while secretly being grateful that she was myopic enough to not see how great she was. The emotional high point of this decade. However, have told myself that I shall continue the V-day thing, because, tradition. Let's see how that pans out.

A lot has changed. Some things remain the same.

It's been an amazing ten years. Bring on the next 10! Happy New Year!

One little question can change your life...

First time I set eyes on her, she was dressed in black,

One look at her, and I knew I was on the right track,

Until I looked into her eyes, and she looked back into mine 

Reality vanished, and everything in the world seemed fine

"You lucky idiot, you know that you won't get another chance"

Exquisite, beautiful, charming, kind, knows how to dance!

All that in a cute little package, what else can you ask for!

Rarely will such a girl walk into your life, and you want more?

So said my inner voice, as I continued to steal yet another glance!

And then I gathered up my courage, and said, what the hell

Go for it, pour out your heart, better learn how to hard-sell

One thing led to another, and we together rang the wedding bell!

Such was the start of this wonderful relationship,

Have to say, so far, it's been a really amazing trip

Evolving into what I hope will be a long partnership!

She "makes me want to be a better man"

As I steal a filmy line, like only I can,

I say to myself, I really can't believe my stars

Destiny, fortune or maybe the influence of Mars?

You already know how this tradition goes,

Every year, I write some mushy, sappy prose

Saves me the cost of getting her a pricey rose!  

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PS: In a life filled with many ups and downs, one achievement of mine stands out. I charmed her enough to say Yes!

Roll the Dice - Part II

"Good morning, this is your wake up call Sir." a sweet voice aroused Kali from his sleep.
Ayyo, everyday she should wake me up like this, he muttered to himself, as he stretched out struggling to shake off his jet lag.

He stumbled to the washroom, still groggy and turned on the washbasin tap. Only to jump back as a stream of hot water scalded his hand. Damn these fancy hotels. One tap spews scalding water, and the other one will freeze the blood in your veins. Why can't they understand what 'room temperature' water means? Bloody idiots.

One thing he didn't mind in the fancy hotels was the nice smelling body gel they had in the showers. A far cry from the days of sharing one brick of Lifebouy with the whole family. Kali showered at leisure, letting the warm water wash away his tiredness.

Today was an important day. Kali, along with the cohort of 2019, had been invited to Las Vegas for his company's annual off-site. The big bosses will fly in in their private jets, the next in lines had to make do with commercial (albeit, in first class), and even fresh first-year analysts like him were accorded business class. Wait, was that the reason the blonde had smiled at him? Because his company paid extra for his seat? He looked in the mirror, smoothed his hair, stuck a Thalaivar pose and told himself, "Don't worry macha, you are cool da."

Once he was ready, he went across to Senthil's room. "Dei, tie katti kudra". 2 years of business school and six months of a finance career, and he still hadn't mastered the art of wearing a tie. One of the perks of working in a private equity firm was that he didn't have to dress up everyday. Unlike his friends at investment banks. "We roll up his sleeves and get our hands dirty in this business", he mimicked his boss, as Senthil handed him back the tie to wear.

The other thing he didn't mind in the fancy hotels was their breakfast spread. For a guy who was used to eating two naram paos dunked in chai as breakfast, the breakfast buffet was like paradise. Three kinds of jam. As much butter as you want. Warm croissants. Eggs made as you like. Although he doubted whether American chefs knew how to make masala omelettes. But he gathered his plate, filled it up with more food than he could carry, and settled down at a table with Senthil.

"Hello, I am Shruti. Mind if I join you?", she asked, more as a formality as she settled herself into the empty chair.

"Of course, no problem", Kali murmured, as he looked into her dark, wide eyes...

In his mind, he was already married. The blue-eyed blonde and the petite brunette slowly faded away. Yesterday, there had been space in his heart for multiple women. Today, it was reserved for only one.

"I'm Senthil, this is KC", his friend had obviously decided to show that he had more manners than Kali.

"Nice to meet you, guys", she said.

"Of all the tables in all the hotels in this world, she walks up to mine... Play it again, Samy" Kali thought to himself. He continued to stare at her.

"I wish they had a more decent breakfast spread. There's hardly any healthy stuff!" she went on as she picked on some fruits, oblivious to Kali's unabashed staring and his plate full of unhealthy calories.

A girl brought up in luxury can afford to be choosy about what she eats. Wonder what she'll say about two naram paos and chai, he thought.

He had heard about her. Shruti Rajagopalan. Everyone in the cohort of 2019 had heard about her. Her father was an IFS officer, ambassador to some country. She had lived across 4 continents while still in school. Fluent in English, French, Spanish and Mandarin. The popular gossip in the cohort was that she didn't have to attend four rounds of grueling interviews to get hired. After all, there are some perks of your dad being the Managing Partner's golf buddy.   

No big deal, Kali told himself. So what if he hadn't seen 4 continents. Going from Dharavi to Bandra was like traversing two parallel universes. And he had survived. And earned his place at this table. The hard way. After all, his dad wouldn't know which end of the golf club to hold.

They finished their breakfast, she full of bubbly anecdotes about winter vacation spent skiing in the Alps, he nodding along wistfully thinking whether his outing with friends to Kalra Caves would be worth mentioning.

As she got up to leave, she said "Senthil, KC, we should catch up for dinner too. I am bored of sitting with these Americans."

Little did he know that, many years later, he would wonder... If only she hadn't walked up to his table, if only she hadn't held out her delicate hand, if only he hadn't felt an electric shock up his spine as he shook it...

If only.                  

Roll the Dice - Part I

Kaliyaperumal Chengalnathan couldn't believe his luck. He rubbed his eyes, hoping that would make his jet lag vanish, as he stood up to retrieve his back-pack.

"Sir, could you please remain seated till the aircraft comes to a complete stop?", announced the stern voice of the airhostess.

"Dei machi, Anni ukkara solraanga da. Innoru peg kudupaangala nu kelu da", his friend Senthil Kumar joked as Kali sat back with a sheepish grin.

The airhostess sighed. Why did she always end up with at least a dozen of these idiots in every flight. She should ask for a change in sector, she told herself for the umpteenth time. Any sector would be better than dealing with these uncouth idiots hitting on her for 14 hours. They think that just because I am blonde, I will give my number to every idiot who smiles at me? Her friend had warned her when she was allotted the India sector. Bloody perverts, she thought as she glared at the two idiots grinning to themselves.

"Dei, nammalaye pakkaranga da", Kali murmured.

"Ella namma style-u brother. Nee indha karuppu kannadi mattnale oru gethu varum la", Senthil replied. Kali smiled, and adjusted his aviators. One of his recent acquisitions to look cool for the trip. The airhostess continued to glare at him. He waved back with a smile. She forced a smile, remembering her induction trainer barking "Always greet our customers with a happy smile..."

As the aircraft finally reached its bay, Kali stepped off the plane. Rather, floated off the plane. Even the long immigration queue did not dampen his enthusiasm. Here he was, in the United States of America, on his first trip abroad, and a blue-eyed blonde had just smiled at him. And said "Thank you sir, hope you had a nice flight." And smiled at him. In his mind, he was already married to her, and they had two blue-eyed blonde kids, a dog and a house with a pool...

Just three years ago, he was living in a slum in Mumbai. Attending college in the morning, running for CA articleship in the afternoon, rushing back for computer classes in the evening, before a flash visit home to gobble a quick dinner, and picking up his books for late night studies at Sion Fort with his friends. Back then, not one of the girls in his class had smiled back at him. "They should look at me now... especially that vella kaaka Pooja Patil... walked around preening as if she was some Miss Universe!"

He stretched out in the comfortable cab as his eyes took in the glimmering image of shiny hotels amidst the vast emptiness that is the Las Vegas strip. Senthil was already snoring, useless bugger. Slept through the flight after downing all the free drinks. Sleeping through the cab ride now.

Kali's eyes grew wider as they arrived at the hotel. The check-in staff was so efficient, and even prettier than the airhostess. The lady smiled at him as she took his passport, and although she did a double take at his name as she struggled to pronounce it, the smile never left her face. "Good evening, Mr. Chen-Gal-Naat-An. This is your key card. Your stay and all your meals are already paid for. Someone will assist you with your bags. We wish you a pleasant stay." All his life, his friends had pulled his leg with "Kali Chengi". Bloody northies, mangling up such a nice Tamizh name. Even his father had to put up with his Gujarati Seth always calling him "Sengal bhai". Two generations of nomenclature-induced embarrassment in the Chengalnathan clan just vanished thanks to this petite lady, with her polished accent calling him Mr. Chen-Gal-Naat-An. Never had he imagined that his name would sound so fancy. He had branded himself "KC' in college and at his job. And thought that was fancy. It didn't sound as fancy now.

Wow. This is the life, he thought to himself. Fancy flight, fancy car and now fancy hotel. All company paid. Blue-eyed blonde airhostesses smiling at him. Petite hotel reception staff cutely mispronouncing his name. In his mind, he was already married twice now, one blue-eyed blonde wife, one petite brunette, four kids, two houses and two swimming pools...

Life was perfect. Everything was perfect. If only these bloody Americans could put a jet-spray in their toilets, he wished as filled up from the sink his 'spare' water bottle brought specifically for this purpose.

If only.

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Three years...

Once upon a time, long long ago (actually, just 3 years ago), there lived a guy who used to make fun of married people. Not any longer. He has become one of them. He has ended up washing dishes in his free time, instead of dashing wishes like he used to.

But he still manages to write a rhyme or two, once in a while.

Like this...

There was once a grumpy old bore
He's, umm, not so grumpy any more
Really? What changed him, you ask?
Explaining that, my dear, is no easy task
"Everything's changed, right to his core!"

You see, he met the girl of his dreams,
Evidently, Destiny had its own schemes
After making fun of married folks for long
Ribbing about their knees not being strong
Somehow, he turned into one of his own memes

Of course, he still maintains he is one of a kind
Free, stubborn, and following his own mind

"May I say something, dear", she chips in
All this talk is like some silly PR spin
Random declarations don't really cut ice
Relationships are all about rolling the dice
If you get lucky like me, you end up very happy
As if two rhythms merged into something snappy
Great things happen, when your tune syncs with mine
Everything looks bright, and everything has a shine!

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Friday. The 13th...

This time it is a Friday. And it is my 13th post on this topic. Friday. The 13th. Crazy stuff is supposed to happen. Right? Right.

Come to think of it, what could be crazier than a smart, intelligent, beautiful girl saying "Yes" to marrying me within a fortnight of meeting me? Nothing I achieve in life is ever going to top that.

I was supposed to stop cribbing about V-day in 2017 itself! But I decided to let this tradition of crappy rhyme on V-day continue till I grow up. Which doesn't look like happening any time soon.

So, this year's edition...

After so many years of having done my sad V-day crib
Asking God, "Dude, what would it take? A piece of my rib?"
"If You, with all your omnipotence, cannot make it happen!
What chance do I stand! At least my wit, could You sharpen...
So that my future love life doesn't turn into a damp squib!!

I had been cribbing about being single since 2008
Before I met her, after an interminably long wait
Was it all preordained, or simply a lucky chance?
That has made me, to her mellifluous tunes, dance!
"Ha, if I danced, I wouldn't put on so much weight!"

She has put up with me now for three long years
Shared in my hopes, my dreams and my fears
She even laughs at my stupid jokes, so as to not hurt my ego
When I pretend to learn Spanish, she says "muy bien, amigo!"
I only wish she'd stop cribbing about my occasional beers!

"So, are you going to write your usual V-day post?"
She asked... while we shared a cheese chilli toast,
"What do you want me to say, my beautiful Pari?
that, of all my girlfriends past, real and imaginary,
You alone rule my heart, and I love you the most!"

I think next year, I will simply get her a V-day card
Because this stuff, for me, is getting too damn hard
You see, writing crappy rhyme often is not so easy,
especially the ones I write, which sound so cheesy,
Not everyone who rhymes can become a great bard!

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PS: 13 years of V-day rhymes! Setting records only, I say!