This is the 18th year of the Valentine Day Crappy Rhyme tradition.
18 - What a magical number!
18! That delicious age where you are finally old enough to drive. Old enough to vote. Old enough to date. Old enough to drink*
*Conditions apply, depending on the state of your domicile.
Who would've thunk in 2008 that this hoary tradition would last EIGHTEEN bledy years!! Maybe I should collect all these rhymes, put them in a book and publish them!
Surprisingly, all the random Senas did not make too much noise around Valentine's Day this year. Maybe they were too busy visiting the MahaKumbh? So, I had to really scour the dregs of the news cycle to come up with stuff that I can rhyme and ridicule... And all I found was that 5-star chocolate makers wanted to kill Valentine's Day by making uncles celebrate it. I mean, I am an uncle now, I will celebrate it, your father's what goes?
With that unnecessary prelude (I can already hear the regulars going "abbe drama bandh kar aur shaayri shuru kar"), Ladies and Gentlemen (and of course, people who go by they/ them, you/ yours are welcome to the party too), here's presenting this year's edition of the V-Day crib...
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Once upon a time, when the world was a more innocent place
Where what you did mattered more than your religion or race
A young man fresh into his first job and a lot of time to kill
Failed to find a dinner date even if he was willing to pay the bill
And decided to blog about it, in his own unique turn of phrase...
He wrote a lot of crap, and at his stupid jokes, some girls did laugh
But sadly, none of them were stupid enough to become his better half
He saw his friends fall in love, and teased them about getting all mushy
While his mom kept hinting about marriage, boy! she was quite pushy
He returned his mom's sarcastic serves like Agassi, hopeful of finding his Graf
He did not seek much from the world, his wishes were quite modest,
The same cannot be said about his thoughts, they were, ahem, immodest
All he wanted was a girl to walk along with him, with a pretty smile
But he kept looking without much success, it did take him quite a while
Like the Universe knew what he wanted and decided to put him to a stern test!
He went through a phase where he thought it is better to remain alone
His work kept him busy enough, as he funded projects with a term loan
Maybe it was an old flame still in his heart, that kept smoldering like ember
Groucho-like he said, "I don't want to be with any girl who'll have my member"
Sorry for the interruption, but did that last line make you want to groan?
Like they say "The night is darkest before dawn", such a random quote
Just when he had given up hope of any girl coming to rock his boat
A friend made a connection, a quick introduction and She turned up in his life,
Better late than never, maybe Destiny was making sure he truly wanted a wife
Like letting him sink a little bit deeper, before getting her to bring him back afloat
As she sashayed into his life, with her dazzling smile and pretty eyes
T'was like angels were singing and cherubs flying, the world felt very nice
He proposed to her with a rhyme, thankfully it was better than this crap
She thought it was poetic, although in all honesty, it sounded like rap
It doesn't matter, because she said Yes, and he got to tie a knot thrice!
Eight years have passed since then, and he's thankful for every day
She tolerates his idiosyncrasies and puts up with him in every way
And while she hopes for a nice gift, a rose perhaps, or a romantic dinner date
He promises to be more spontaneous, but ends up usually working late
And hopes to make up for lack of a surprise gift by writing rhymes this way!
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PS: Every year, I think I can do this no more and should end it while it still seems good. Every year, I come back and write more stupid rhyme. It's a curse, this itch to write bad verse!
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