How do you select the name of your child? They don't teach that at school. They ought to. It is something most people have to do at least once in their lives. It is important enough that one does not want to muck it up.
Where I come from, people solved this conundrum with a simple tradition. Name your first-born after the paternal grandparent. And that's how I was named Sivaramakrishnan. After a man I never had the privilege of meeting. I did grow up hearing stories about him. About how brilliant he was, how intelligent, yada yada. About how he used to earn a handsome salary in those days, how he threw away his life's savings to follow the call for a non-violent fight for India's independence and how when he passed away, there wasn't even enough money at home to conduct his last rites. Even though I never met the gentleman, deep in my heart, I always had a little pride that I was carrying his name. That I should live up to his ideals. Or at least that's what I told myself as I filled in such a long name in form after form after form.
When we were expecting our child, this topic of what to name the child came up. A lot. While it was tempting to take the traditional route, the missus would not hear of it. The kid is Gen Beta, we need a shorter name, she said. As it is, he or she will carry your looong name as the second name. It made sense. I didn't want my kid to suffer the same fate as mine, writing long names in form after form after form.
Trying to pick a name is a good way to pass time during the pregnancy. The missus would trawl through multiple websites and come up with a short list. I would mock every name, given my tendency to mock names. Rinse and repeat.
"How about Karthin?" she would say.
"What kind of name is Karthin?"
"It is inspired by Lord Kartikeya. It means brave or warrior." She would reply earnestly.
"Sounds like a diet version of the lord. If he becomes fat later, we can change it to Karthick"
"Aargh... you and your PJs! Sometimes I wonder why I married you!"
Rinse and repeat.
Given that the Indian government does not let you find out the gender of your unborn child, we had to shortlist both boy names and girl names.
"How about Anjali?" I would say.
"Nice name. What's the inspiration?" she'd ask. Earnestly.
"Well, you know how there have been multiple instances of mice entering our house. The day you got the news of your pregnancy, it was the fifth mouse that got trapped. Anju Eli." (Apologies to the non-Tams).
"Aargh... you and your PJs! Sometimes I wonder why I married you!"
Rinse and repeat.
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Thankfully, despite my PJs, we had narrowed down the name. One for each gender. So, when our baby boy arrived, we were ready.
Introducing... drumroll... Kanav.
Dear Kanav,
Your name is inspired by Rishi Kanva. A sage who embodies wisdom. Like all parents, we too hope that you grow up with wisdom. Not just a Mr. Wise Guy.
Your name means 'compassion' in Sanskrit. This is the part that most appealed to me when your mom suggested this name.
I hope you grow up to be kind. That you recognize your privilege and share your good fortune with folks who may not be as fortunate. I hope you realize the saying "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" is not just a quotable cliche. You may not be named after your grandfather, but he was kindness personified. Never said a word in anger. Never raised his voice. Always looked to help others when he could.
This is what he wrote, after we had celebrated his 60th birthday...
I wish you grow up to be kind, so that he may pass this way again, in your form.
Whenever I was faced with a tough situation, I pulled through knowing how much my father had struggled to allow me the privilege of getting the opportunities I did. And ever since he passed, I always wished he was around to share the quiet pride of knowing what his son managed with what he gave me. Your father will struggle less, thanks to his father struggling all his life. You will struggle even lesser, thanks to your father struggling in the early part of his life. And that, my son, is how every generation builds on the goodness of its predecessors.
If you grow up embodying this one quality, I know I would have done my job as a father. A job that I am realizing comes with a weight of responsibility. One I feel wholly inadequate to handle, but I am confident I can, because my father did this before me, and his father did it before him. You have a great legacy to live up to. No pressure, son.
Your name means 'dream' in Tamil. Having you come in to our lives has been a dream come true. I wish you grow up to be a dreamer. No matter what anyone says. Like the quote from The Pursuit of Happyness, "Don't ever let somebody tell you... you can't do something. Not even me. All right? You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period!"
Today, we name you... Kanav!
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