This is the year the V-day whine turns Sweet Sixteen! Every year, I keep thinking that I need to put a stop to this. After all, it started as a joke, a way to crib about my absent love-life in a funny way. It went on for a while, as a way to keep laughing about my plight while I was being pressured by friends and family to find a girl.
But now, I have already found love, or rather my love found me. So, there was no point in continuing this stupid thing. Except it has become tradition. And we don't take tradition lightly in this country.
At least, some of us don't. Like the Animal Welfare Board of India. We respect our traditions. We don't want western culture corrupting our minds. So, inspired by their circular, I dedicate this year's V-day post to AWBI!
*****************************************
This year, as I was secretly wondering how
To celebrate the so called 'festival of love'
Not for me the same old chocolates and roses
Nor the stupid red balloons and clichéd poses
The AWBI has kindly suggested to hug a cow!
Apparently, hugging cows can fulfil your every wish
Since they are friendly with Gods like Ram and Krish
So, I decided to go out, searching for a cuddly bovine
But there was a huge crowd and I had to get in line
Worry not, I told myself, iss baar karenge poori koshish!
But I wasn't sure whether to only hug or should I also kiss
After all, it is a four legged animal, and not a pretty miss
And how do we even know if the cow likes to be hugged
ChatGPT says no, they aren't sociable, and get bugged
But certain folks around me were ready to drink its piss!
The cow asked me "so, you think you are a stud?"
You don't look very smart, but more like a dud
All you buggers are only friends in fair weather
Once I grow old, you will skin me for some leather
So, why don't you let me peacefully chew my cud...
So, I came back home to hug my lovely wife
And let the cow get on with its happy life
The wife really appreciates my ready wit
Even if she secretly thinks it's all bullshit...
And that's the secret to a marriage without strife!
*****************************
PS: Apparently, the AWBI has withdrawn the its circular. But I refuse to withdraw my post!
Posts
